Hypothetically one could play with mods if you both have exactly the same mods active, but it’s better just to disable. You also need to disable all mods and console commands if you want to play people. People from all over the world play Xcom and time zones are a real issue, but I have over a 1,000 games played and this is the best place to find people. They’ve done tournaments, and you can sign up for a multiplayer role and ping people with the same role to let people know you’re looking for a game.
For that reason it’s best to try and arrange a game and the best place to find people who play is the Xcom Discord Server. It’s luck of the draw if you run into someone and while people do play multiplayer, not enough do to quickly find a game. The problem is that there are four different places one can go to look for a match: Xcom 2 ranked, Xcom 2 quick match, WOTC ranked, or WOTC quick match. If you’ve ever asked around about multiplayer you’ve probably been laughed at and been told it’s dead, but this isn’t entirely true. Guide to Fast Start in Multiplayer Actually Getting a Match Advanced Tips People Often Don’t Consider.